Yesterday for much of the day I was cramping. I know that cramping in early pregnancy can be normal. I've had it in many of my pregnancies. I also know it can signify something wrong. It can be a precursor to miscarriage. So when I started cramping I started worrying. Of course all the worrying in the world will do nothing for me, but I worried anyway.
I'm pretty sure that it was normal cramping. Probably things "settling" in and my body getting used to having a little occupant inside of my womb. Each pain was a small reminder that of how things might go with this pregnancy. It scared me and really brought home what might happen. It makes me worried. I'm trying my hardest to put my trust in God but sometimes even that is hard.
We have been through so much. We have experienced so much loss, so much heartache, so much pain. I don't want to go through more pain. I don't want my family to go through pain. I'm praying with all my heart that we will experience joy at the end of this pregnancy. I can handle some physical discomfort and pain but I'm not sure how I will handle emotional and spiritual pain. I'm praying so hard that we don't have to.
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